Years ago, I would walk down the streets of Manhattan and see women WAY "out of my league" (whatever THAT means) walk by me, and I wanted so much to be with these types of girls. I never was.
One day, about 10 years ago, I said, "DUDE, man up! The only way you are going to get a gorgeous girlfriend is by talking to gorgeous girls!" So, from that moment on, as soon as I saw a pretty girl, I approached. Without thinking. Even just to say, "Hi". Sometimes, it was really awkward. More often than not, she said hi back, smiled, and a conversation was off and running.
THE KEY: I never said hi with any expectation. My mission was just to approach and say hi--as soon as I saw her. And wow, it changed my life around, because my confidence in ALL AREAS of life have skyrocketed as a result of that.
You can apply this to all areas of your life. If you are scared to do something, make it a habit that as soon as you starting thinking, "Oh no, I can't do that," you FLIP THE SWITCH and automatically do that thing. At first, it's super hard, but honestly, once you get the hang of it, it becomes really easy.
Using this technique, I acted my way into the Cannes Film Festival; I had a one-on-one cocktail with Ed Norton at a party in Manhattan; I got CAA agent Jim Toth (Reese Witherspoon's husband) on the phone and talked to him for 20 minutes about Rachel Bilson and my wakeboarding film; and this list goes on and on.
Years ago I realized something. Confidence is not acting without fear. It is acting DESPITE your fear. So suck it up, put your shoulders back, put a smile on your face, and... APPROACH!
Hope this helps!
-Monroe Mann, Esq
Author, "Guerrilla Networking" (with JCL), "Time Zen", "The Theatrical Juggernaut", and the upcoming, "Romantic Suicide."
Check out my motivational album "Get Off Your Ass" on iTunes, Amazon, and CD Baby